Scooping the Trentonian

[BurgFood]

I'm taking advantage of the Internet to print a story before LA Parker does. I’m certain the Trentonian and Parker will exaggerate the entire story, so here is an unbiased account.

Once again racism has reared its ugly head. This time the unlikely culprit is the state Department of Environmental Protection (DEP). In Trenton today, DEP Commissioner Bob Martin announced a six-day hunt of Black Bear has been approved. This decision comes with the endorsement of the closet bigots at the state Fish & Game Council.

“Relaxation of the hunting regulations on New Jersey’s Black Bear population will disproportionately target the Black bears, while doing nothing to abate the problem of the White bears in New Jersey”, said former City Council member Annette Lartigue. Lartigue explained that when you look at the total number of bears behind bars, in zoos and outdoor nature reserves, in New Jersey the Black bear population out numbers the White bear population 7 to 1.

Lartigue also hinted at the more sinister motive behind the hunt: Racism, fueled by unwillingness by the Trenton Fire Department to accept the appointment of Lenny Carmichael as its director.

At Fire Headquarters on Perry Street several firemen were asked if they thought the Black bear hunt had anything to do with the DEP being resistant to the naming of Len Carmichael, Trenton’s first Black Fire Director, to head the fire department and if the use of the term “Black bear” was a thinly veiled reference to Carmichael’s high school nickname of both ‘Teddy Bear’ and ‘Bear’, thus making the Black bear hunt a synonym for lynching. Most of the firemen questioned feigned bewilderment to the question, opting to express confusion over the question rather than provide an answer. However, one annoyed fireman replied, “Yea, what ever”, confirming the narrowly held belief that a Black Bear hunt in New Jersey is a subtle racist strike against diversification in the Trenton Fire Department.

Lartigue is requesting that the state Attorney’s General office investigate and prosecute those responsible. “When was the last time that a White bear was hunted down and killed like an animal in New Jersey? Huh? I’ll tell you when, never!” Lartigue also announced she will pay a one million dollar reward for the arrest, conviction and execution of the “racist Black bear” haters in the Trenton Fire Department and their co-conspirators at the DEP and Division of Fish and Game.

“People who deny the racist connection, do nothing more than confirm their own racial bias,” said Lartigue.
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Big Stick Diplomacy.

[Mike R.]

So it's possible that the bear in the firehouse/hanging story last week knew about this in advance, became distraught and took his own life?

It would appear that the strain was more than he could bear. ...

Get it? Bear?

[pbaman]

That's very funny. I wouldn't be surprised if she thinks like that.

[Paladin]

she is & she does....